When you spend twenty-four years in a cult, you sometimes forget the importance of the very beginning- the hopeful years where you were mesmerized by a fresh, new spiritual energy in your life. This is the time when your soul begins to be unraveled in preparation for a radical and dangerous change of personality.

As I read the responses of my readers, I realize more clearly how far gone the defender/members of AMORC have descended into the traps of Mind Control. These are usually the older members.

When they took about the liberality of AMORC, its innocent guidance in the direction of true spiritual liberation, the credibility and commonality of its exercises, I know already they fall into two categories: 1) Serious, active members- who have entirely bought the Mind Control agenda- like I was. 2) Lazy members- who have never really read the monographs carefully or have done the exercises with any kind of zeal. The latter are like the people who order products online or from TV commercials, which they hate, but are too lazy to ask for their money back. The former are like me- loyal, fanatical with personalities that have been successfully convoluted to retain their membership and keep their commitment pointed in the right direction.

So I have decided to make great efforts to start at the beginning again, with Mandamus No. 1. Stay tuned!